There are two sides to every sin: the turning of the will towards fleeting satisfaction and the turning away from everlasting value. The first can be called lust; the unbridled desire for pleasure. The second is pride; the lack of the submission to God. -- St. Thomas Aquinas

let us surrender to love

I loved the season of advent and Christmas this past year. I've loved learning about Mary and I think I’ve stumbled onto a deeper understanding of why. Mary surrendered to God, submitted herself to His will.

And Mary said, "Behold, I am the servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word." (Luke 1:38)

I find my heart drawn in the same direction, in this season of lent… leading to Jesus’ surrender for me (and you and everyone else...)

And going a little farther he fell on his face and prayed, saying, "My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will." (Matthew 26:39)

On Ash Wednesday I realized one of the things I am learning is the posture of submission (surrender) and humility. There is something about kneeling and bowing that reiterates submission not just in my heart, but in my being... in my knees, my head, my neck and my hands… it’s not about doing or earning.

Submission: a willingness to yield or surrender to somebody, or the act of doing so
Surrender: an act of relinquishing control or possession to somebody or something

“Surrender is not the best way to live; it is the only way to live.” Rick Warren

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. 4 Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.” (Philippians 2:3-4).

“Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness.” (Philippians 2:6-7).

"The reason why many are still troubled, still seeking, still making little forward progress is because they haven't yet come to the end of themselves. We're still trying to give orders, and interfering with God's work within us." A.W. Tozer

"The more we let God take us over, the more truly ourselves we become - because he made us. He invented all the different people that you and I were intended to be.... It is when I turn to Christ, when I give up myself to His personality, that I first begin to have a real personality of my own." C. S. Lewis

"Surrender yourself to the Lord, and wait patiently for him." (Psalm 37:7).

"Submit yourselves therefore to God." (James 4:7)

"Lord, thou hast won, at length I yield;
My heart, by mighty grace compell'd,
Surrenders all to thee;
Against thy terrors long I strove,
But who can stand against thy love?
Love conquers even me."

Omnia vincit amor
love conquers all things
et nos cedamus amori. - Virgil
let us surrender to love.

know why

I’m a big fan of song lyrics… then swim around in my head like quotes. Single words link them together in my brain… following the connections usually leads me deeper into myself… occasionally to catharsis. Echoing the words of Queen Esther these lyrics came to mind this morning. (from Hand me Downs penned by Amy Ray)

give me hope, give me hope
that emptiness brings fullness
and loss of love brings wholeness
to us all

you will weep and know why, these words have echoed in my head for the past two weeks. I initially thought that poem birthed no hope. Wondering how it could be called Spring and Fall when it just focused on the fall. I think the hope is in the two words “know why”. At first it seems that is where the despair lies… and it does…. the deeper our knowledge of our sin the deeper our love of our savior.

Isn’t that what Lent is about? A time of reflection and repentance of our sin (mainly recognizing our lack of ability to “live up” to God’s standard) that leads us to a joyful celebration of God’s gift to us…

I love that this season of Lent gives me time to prepare myself to celebrate the profound mystery of God dying on a cross for me... to pay for my sins... every single one of them.

turn our sorrows into wholeness

From today’s readings:
Save us from the hand of our enemies; turn our mourning into gladness and our sorrows into wholeness. Queen Esther

Jeremiah 31:13
I will turn their mourning into joy; I will comfort them, and give them gladness for sorrow.

John 16:20
Truly, truly, I say to you, you will weep and lament, but the world will rejoice. You will be sorrowful, but your sorrow will turn into joy.


Why do you suppose Queen Esther asked God to turn sorrow into wholeness? The first thing that came to mind were these two other passages regarding sorrow turning to joy. Is joy wholeness? John writes a lot about joy becoming complete. The words “you will weep and you’ll know why” keep echoing in my head.

Spring and Fall
to a young child

Margaret, are you grieving
Over Goldengrove unleaving?
Leaves, like the things of man, you
With your fresh thoughts care for, can you?
Ah! as the heart grows older
It will come to such sights colder
By & by, nor spare a sigh
Though worlds of wanwood leafmeal lie;
And yet you will weep & know why.
Now no matter, child, the name:
Sorrow's springs are the same.
Nor mouth had, no nor mind, expressed
What heart heard of, ghost guessed:
It is the blight man was born for,
It is Margaret you mourn for.
- Gerard Manley Hopkins (1844-1889)


from yesterday's reading:
"Our hope is engendered in the midst of suffering. Instead of glossing over the pain, it goes straight to the heart, saying, 'Precisely here in these circumstances is where we must be hopeful.' Such hope rooted in the promise of things we don't see is a gift from god and can't be self-generated. We accept that gift only when we're able to relinquish our own version of expectations, outcome, success and control. the cornerstone of hope lies in Jesus' resurrection where, unexpectedly and seemingly impossible, life defeats death."