Live life to the point of tears – Albert Camus
Highs & Lows
This year started with the purchase of an airline ticket to London and planning my first trip to Europe with my sister. As it does, life seems to move quickly from high to low and a few weeks later I was remembering the life of my dear friend’s mother. Questioning a faith that was intriguing to me I started searching deeper within the walls of The Church and my heart. My pride suffered a deep wound as I found myself drawn closer to my Savior during the season of Lent & Easter. I celebrated the marriage of another dear friend and caught her bouquet. (still waiting for that promise to pan out...) Shortly after I learned that the job I moved to Nashville seeking would be no longer. (On most days I still miss it very much although in all honesty there are things I don’t miss about it.) The high point of losing my job was an almost 5 month paid vacation which started with the trip I began the year planning. Hiking in the Peak District... walking in the places Jane Austin wrote about… Guinness at the Little John…Walking in the footsteps of the Fab 4 in Liverpool (and London)… and the footsteps of William Wallace in Stirling. Learning about scotch, where else but Scotland… Mass at Notre Dame… the top of the Eiffel Tower… looking at Paris from the steps of Sacre Coeur… Celebrating my birthday at the Louvre and later over wine out of a juice box with my sister in Paris. (Pretty much the best birthday EVER!)… Midsummer Night's Dream at the Globe… eating Mr. Whippie’s ice cream with chocolate flake in the grass under the London Eye… listening to a string quartet while sitting on the hardwood floor at the National Gallery… Big Ben at noon… H&M… dinner at Yo! Sushi… The Wine Crucifix at the Tate Modern… The next four months was a mix of rest, peace, friends, babysitting, a lot of reading… and a bit of job searching. I fell deeper in love with CS Lewis and spent the months of July and August reading and rereading all of his fiction (and some of his non-fiction). At the end of August I started a new job. I also realized that my year long inquiry of the Catholic Church was going to end my journey as a protestant. I tackled starting a new job and eventually got the hang of it. I lost my Grandmother and with her my last blood connection to that generation. I became Catholic, I gave my first confession and received the Eucharist… Life Changing. I gave thanks with my friends and celebrated the Incarnation with my family. I can’t tell you if I’m still crying from sadness or joy as we watched a home video of our family Christmas 10 years ago that included the Grandma I lost 2 months later. Hearing her voice again after 10 years was bittersweet… both a high and a low.
Gains & Losses
losses
a dream… well a few of them
my job
my grandmother
gains
a passport, and two stamps in it!
knowing what my sad eyes look like
more amazing friends
reawakened love of reading and deep thinking
a different perspective on life, from my knees
Reconciliation & The Eucharist
learning deeper surrender to a God who knows so much more of who I am than I do myself.
So to 2009 I raise my glass… “Bring it on!”
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